By A Unique Perspective | Faith Anchor Podcast
Are You a Christian Woman Over 40 Walking Through Midlife Alone?
This post is for the woman silently asking, for the woman who wonders if being still single at 40 means she’s missed something important.
“Why am I still single?”
“Did I miss my chance?”
“Is God even listening?”
Maybe you’re never married. Or maybe you’re divorced or widowed. Either way, you’re in the middle of life, and it feels like all the good things—marriage, love, purpose—passed you by.
Let me gently say: you are not forgotten.
God hasn’t withheld anything out of cruelty.
And this season? It’s not meaningless.
Here are 7 lessons God taught me—through real heartbreak, poor choices, and stubborn faith—and how He used them to restore what I thought was lost.
1. I Rushed Into Love Instead of Healing First — But Hannah Waited in Worship
In my 20s, I got involved in a relationship too soon after a major heartbreak. I told myself it was God opening a door—but truthfully, I was using that man to distract me from my pain.
It didn’t work. The loneliness I tried to avoid resurfaced stronger than ever, and the connection unraveled.
Hannah, in contrast, was a woman who brought her grief directly to God. She didn’t hide her pain. She wept in worship and trusted that God heard her—even without proof (1 Samuel 1).
📖 Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.”
Lesson: Healing must happen before connection. If we skip the deep work, we end up bleeding on people who didn’t break us.
2. I Idolized Marriage Instead of Pursuing Wholeness — Ruth Chose Obedience Over Desperation
For years, I made marriage the prize. I believed it would fix the ache in my heart, the holes in my identity. I prayed for a husband, but I wasn’t letting God make me whole.
Ruth, though widowed and in need, didn’t chase a man. She clung to Naomi, served in the fields, and walked with quiet obedience. Her future opened as she stayed faithful in the mundane (Ruth 1–3).
📖 Exodus 20:3 – “You shall have no other gods before Me.”
Lesson: Wholeness in Christ is the foundation. Marriage can’t replace what only God is meant to fill.
3. I Confused Chemistry for Covenant — But Mary Chose Purpose Over Pressure
I let attraction and emotional connection define relationships. I assumed if it felt spiritual and deep, it must be from God. But feelings aren’t confirmation. I compromised emotionally and physically, thinking I was building something lasting.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, was young, vulnerable, and likely misunderstood—but she trusted God’s purpose over the pressure of people. She carried promise with dignity, not compromise (Luke 1:26–38).
📖 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 – “You are not your own; you were bought at a price.”
Lesson: Physical closeness without spiritual alignment leads to confusion, not clarity. Sacred purpose requires sacred boundaries.
4. I Didn’t Know My Worth in the Word — But Esther Knew Who She Belonged To
There was a season when I called myself what past relationships had named me: unlovable, difficult, too late. I believed lies because I wasn’t grounded in the truth of God’s Word.
Esther had every reason to doubt her worth—she was orphaned, hidden, and chosen by a pagan king. But she fasted, prayed, and moved with the quiet boldness of a woman who knew her identity came from God (Esther 4:14–16).
📖 2 Timothy 3:16–17 – “All Scripture is God-breathed… so the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped.”
Lesson: You can’t know your value if you don’t know God’s voice. Your identity isn’t in your status—it’s in Scripture.
5. I Prayed for a Godly Man But Ignored My Own Character — Abigail Showed Grace and Strength
I spent time dreaming of a godly man while justifying my own unhealed behavior—bitterness, impatience, inconsistency. I wanted Boaz, but I was still reacting like I hadn’t been renewed.
Abigail had every reason to act out—she was married to a foolish man. But she responded to crisis with wisdom, courage, and humility, ultimately saving her household and gaining honor (1 Samuel 25).
📖 Proverbs 31:30 – “A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Lesson: Becoming the woman God is forming matters more than being found by a man. Godly character isn’t optional—it’s preparation.
6. I Clung to Dead Relationships — But Hagar Met God in the Wilderness
I held on to unhealthy relationships long past their expiration. I thought time spent meant loyalty. But God had already said “let go,” and I kept editing what He’d ended.
Hagar was mistreated, rejected, and sent into the wilderness. But it was there—in her isolation—that God met her, saw her, and named her (Genesis 16:13).
📖 Isaiah 43:18–19 – “Forget the former things… I am doing a new thing!”
Lesson: When God says release, it’s mercy—not punishment. Don’t resurrect what He buried.
7. I Believed the Wait Was Punishment — But Sarah’s Delay Was God’s Design
I assumed that because I was still single at 40+, God was punishing me. I saw other women get married, and I felt forgotten. But later, I realized His timing wasn’t cruelty—it was care.
Sarah waited years for the promise of a child. She laughed in disbelief. But God fulfilled His word, not because she got it all right—but because He is faithful (Genesis 21:1–7).
📖 Lamentations 3:25 – “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him.”
Lesson: Waiting isn’t punishment. It’s preparation for the kind of blessing only God can give in His time.
This Season Has Purpose — Even If It Feels Like It Doesn’t
To the woman over 40 navigating midlife, faith, and singleness:
You’re not invisible. You’re not too late. You’re not overlooked.
God sees you. He’s not just preserving you — He’s preparing you.
Download the Free Devotional Guide
This blog reflects just part of the story. I created a devotional to help you go deeper — not with hype, but with healing.
What’s included:
- 14 biblically grounded life lessons
- Key Scripture reflections
- Journal prompts to process your walk with God
📥 Download here: Free Faith Resources
📖 Read more reflections: Christian Lifestyle Blogs
A Recommended Read: God Is a Matchmaker by Derek Prince
This book reframed how I saw divine timing and surrender in relationships. If you’ve ever struggled to trust God with your love story, this is worth the read. (This is an affiliate link. If you purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.)
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